Saturday, September 13, 2008

Blast you morons!

I get up today morning at ten thirty, (don’t judge me…was up last night with some important work….anyways, this isn’t about me!) and I see the headlines plastered across the newspaper, “29 DIE AS 17 BLASTS RIP THROUGH AHMEDABAD”. Bloody 17 blasts!!!! That’s the most no. of blasts I have ever heard of in a terrorist attack on my country since I was born. Cumulatively!! I try to get up off the bed but there’s still only two words resounding in my head, “Seventeen Blasts!!!” .Walk toward the bathroom to brush my teeth, and they’re still there, “Seventeen Blasts!!!” .Walking back to the room, “Seventeen Blasts!!!”. I decide to go to my friend’s room to vent my frustration. He opens his door and I blurt out, “SEVENTEEN BLASTS!!!” His reply, “Fifteen blasts”. I give him a puzzling look that even the Joker from the earlier Batman movies would kill to have on his own face to go with his diabolical schemes. But that’s what he chose to refute with me about - the number of blasts reported by his newspaper vs. mine. Does nobody else see the sheer ludicrous insanity of the actions of these so called terrorist organizations? Okay!! So we’ll take the magic number as fifteen for future references in this rambling monologue of mine. But is fifteen any better? There shouldn’t even be one blast to read of in the newspapers. And here I am being greeted on consecutive days with news of how the security apparatus of our…no wait…my country is just a complete mockery of the meaning of the word “secure”. Do I feel secure? Hell no!! Not about my life, not about my family’s life which by the way lives in Ahmedabad. But that’s beside the point. I don’t feel terrorized by this news, may be for the sheer reason that if I do, I’m letting these sadist Tiffin bombers actually succeed in their intensions. But what I can’t believe or rather understand is that why do we keep letting this happen. Can I never walk in piece on the roads without the gushing urge to call the bomb squad every time I see a deserted cycle parked in a civilized street? Shouldn’t I not have to stop reading the newspapers daily just because they give me the most repetitive feeling of déjà vu? Shouldn’t there be an actual organization that tries and prevent these incidents from repeating over and over again? OH yeah!! There is such an organization, the POLICE. Right…Well we all know how great they are. A murderer kills two may be three people? A robber may kill somebody while making his escape. But freaking 29 people killed by an organization that used the email to claim responsibility. And there’s no way to figure out actually whodunit. Even if they come knocking to our doors once every month with the most stony calling card of death, we don’t consider them worth spending our time and effort on.

To think such incidents happened right after the government’s “victory” on the nuke deal is really laudable. And I’m not even being sarcastic. We can see how involved the country’s governors are in a deal with the country that perhaps is the most used example of global hegemony ever. Sure, our internal safety measures might be as obscure as the Indian Postal Service, but let’s keep up the image of being en route to being the next global power and turn a blind eye to our “little” problems within. They’re ‘internal’ right? We can solve them anytime. All right, guess the sarcasm kind of leaked out in spite of my best attempts. But before I wrap up this dialogue, I would really like to know what can we do individually to prevent this. Every time the tabloids finish by pleading everyone to be more vigil and keep their eyes and ears peeled to notice any inconsistency. It doesn’t work that way people. One person’s imagination may get him labeled as being paranoid and frowned upon. Think what would happen with everyone’s paranoia let loose on the streets. Utter chaos perhaps? But let’s not forget that it is each individual’s duty to keep a watch out but there’s a limit to our reach, and then helplessness prevails simply because of the sheer enormity of “the unknown”. AAMIR anyone?


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Friday, April 11, 2008

Trip down the memory lane- Lantern 2007


Our beloved staff advisor, Dr. D. Kesava Rao



A lighter moment


The first year crowd @ Lantern 07



Frantic correction of the prelim papers


Winners of Lantern 2007


Runners up


Second runners up


The Executive members of second year- the event conductors of Lantern, with our staff advisor


Dr. D. Kesava Rao flanked by the Additional Secretaries of LnD, Anand Rajagopalan and Nitin Lakhotia (left to right) and Secretary, Tony Sebastian (extreme right)

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Monday, January 7, 2008

Do men need to be chivalrous.??

Don't you think that the world can do without chivalry in the 21st century.? I mean its been decades that women have been talking about equality and doing great things in all walks of life. Last I heard, equality was a thing of the past and i think i overheard this, "women who aspire to be be equal to men just aren't ambitious enough." or something to that effect. So now that female equality has clearly been established, I'm made to wonder why they should expect chivalry. After all, isn't asking and hoping for chivalry from men tantamount to saying,"I could need some help here." You know even that's fine with me-some work just cant be done alone-but in that case why is help solicited only from men and not from women. If women can do everything men can,then why cant they be chivalrous ??

Lets go back in time and see why chivalry was required. Mankind lived in caves, man was the provider,women stayed back in the caves-cooking and taking care of the kids.If the cave-woman needed a large boulder to be broken or moved or a bear to be killed then she'd need the cave-man. That's it-that's where chivalry came from.Right.?? Now we can fast forward to the 19th century. Men were becoming doctors and discovering things and studying while most women stayed indoors n brought up the kids. Women wore dresses and obviously had mobility issues. So when they wanted to mount a horse or get onto the carriage or even walk a bumpy road,a little help could be used-enter the chivalrous 19th century man.

But why all this now.? The fairer sex don't need men by their side anymore-not for support at least. To get answers I asked a friend of mine who was sad that it was getting more and more difficult to find chivalrous men.Apparently, its nice if men are there to keep open the door when they want to enter (say a car) and to offer to hold their hand when they are walking on a bumpy road.! Whoa...!! I am reminded of Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. He's blind and is so accompanied by this young man.The fellow holds Pacino's hand when he's about to start walking.Pacino curtly yet strongly says,"Are you blind ?...Then why are you holding my hand ?" See the analogy girls.? So don't really hope for chivalry-detest it...unless of course you're afraid opening the car door will chip your nail polish.

The world doesn't really need a man who's nice to a woman because she's a woman-that's not chivalry-that's lame. We need people(both men and women) who are nice to other people(both men and women) because thats who they are, that's what they do.
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Thursday, December 13, 2007

A day in the life of the holidaying NITWian

5:20 fight for your right to sleep five more minutes. Plead, push, pummel finally give up the matador bull named mom. [oops I meant matador cow :D]

6:20 get caught red handed for sleeping over the morning paper. Get sent to the kitchen by Hitler to help the matador cow out. Help, learn your basic lessons in kitchen simply because “you have grown as big as a guy-buffalo”. [Courtesy: Amminniamma, my sweet maid servant. You have to translate the phrase into malli to appreciate it]

7:20 help your sister with her homework. Fully utilize the chance. Give her a long lecture on why it is important to be regular, else you end up like the author.

8:20 wave your parents goodbye as they leave for work. Do a jig. Celebrate your hard earned freedom by hitting the couch.

9:20 relish your moments of blissful sleep

10:20 wake up with a jolt as the phone rings. Answer the matador cow’s “you weren’t sleeping right?” with an emphatic no.

10:25 try every other number you know. Only to hear

1) “the Vodafone customer you are trying to reach is switched off”

2) “hey da, sorry me in class. Might get caught any moment. Ttyl ok”

3) “ya will catch up with sometime. Did you say you are leaving on 20th. Damn it man!! I got university exams till 21st.”

4) “Internal exams da. I am already on the verge of flunking. Hey btw me free on any day after 22nd. We will have a blast then. What you leaving on 20th. No Xmas hols?? How dumb.”

11:00 curse the dude from surathkal.

11:05 switch on the tv. Realize that you have no idea who is having an extra marital affair with whom in the saas bahu serials; That the mallu family tear jerkers are exactly at the same place where you left them 3 months ago; That you have seen every other movie, thanks to the LAN; that you are above the Indian television and settle for India- Pakistan test series.

12:00 curse the dude from surathkal

12:20 walk into the kitchen. Get the strong feeling that okra fry and fish moily is too boring. Go online. Download “The Mexican cook book”. Scan the recipe. Find alternatives for every other ingredient coz u can’t find them in the kitchen.

13:00 hear the door bell ring. Answer Rasheeda aunty’s “is everything ok mole? I could smell something burn” with a sheepish grin.

13:20 thank your stars that the fire engine didn’t turn up. fish moily and okra fry does taste heaven.

13:25 sit down with the Hindu Crossword, Roget’s thesaurus and the oxford dictionary. Stare for one hour. Get two clues right, lucky if you are

14:20 go down on your knees. Pray to a certain wizard of words famous for his glutTony.

14:25 realize crossies aren’t for engineers with pea sized brains.

14:30 shift your focus to the last page of the paper. Try the sudoko. Waste an hour. Get enlightened to the fact that it is too hard. Curse your pea sized brain. Oops no curse the dude from surathkal

14:45 go online. Find similar holidaying NITWians (HN)

Excerpts from a conversation

“Me: hey

HN1: howdy?

Me: bored ra to death

HN1: same here. Every friend of mine has exams now

Me: same pinch

HN1 : ouch that hurt

Me: :)”

“HN2: hey

Me : hows u?

HN2: bored to death man

Me : same here. Every single friend of mine has exams now

HN2: same fate here

Me: kill the guy from surathkal”

15:20 invite every other holidaying nitwian you know to a group chat. Swear at gtalk for not doing the job well. Shift to YM. Listen to your friend say he doesn’t have YM installed Shift back to gtalk. Play the fool around. Conspire to murder the dude from surathkal.


16:20 do some orkutting. Classify people on your friends list into buggers, big buggers, and bigger buggers. Write dumb testimonials for dumb friends ;). Go be a fan of some arbit guy.

17:20 welcome the matador cow back home

The author wishes to terminate the article right now. She is simply too bored to continue any more. Happy holidaying!!! And ya to hell with the dude from surathkal


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Friday, November 23, 2007

Classification of species@NITW

STATUTORY DECLARATION: The characters mentioned in the article are purely x+iy, (x=0). Any resemblance to anyone living or dead or half-alive is purely coincidental and unintentional. So please don't impose any mental or physical strain on the author for any such coincidence.


The author found several classes of living creatures from all over the country in the college and made an effort to classify them as follows:

  1. Fairer sex
  2. Non-fairer sex

Further classification among the Fairer sex:

Rules Ramanujam

The bookworms of the college saving the library from being filled with Spiders. Wanna see them, then attend the classes regularly. Guys with 100% attendance and 200% innocence. They are seen in the first three rows of the classroom and never stop firing questions at the professor. They are always active and even more active at the time of results. God knows what magic a teacher has!! No one cares the teacher for 3 whole months and when it comes to finalisation of grades everyone starts acting too smart. (The author is proud of not asking marks in any subject till know. You know why? If the teacher asks a question relating to the topic, the author can't answer it :P ) Well, anyway may god bless these 'holy souls'.

The Nitwit

These guys make the bread and butter of the college. They act accordingly; participate in all sports, extra and co-curricular activities, enjoy nights in the dhabas. They represent the college in Tech-fests and make the college feel proud of them. And they never let their grades go down and will obviously get selected in a good company. Our college name is honoured only due to the presence of such guys.

The Fundoo

The author wonders what supernatural powers they have. They are known for bunking the classes and studying in the hostel rooms. They smile when Rules Ramanujam asks a question in the classJ. The class heads to this guy's room to know the syllabus or to clarify any doubt.

The Romeo

If you want to see him just come to the LH as soon as it gets dark. You can see them enjoy their conversation with the non-fairer sex. God only knows what they have so much to talk about.

The Sonic-maniac

These are a species unique to the boys hostel (The author doesn't know if there are any such in the LH too). They have 1400 Watt sound systems in their rooms and they never turnoff their computers and have pendrives and harddisks as means of transport.(Of course, the LAN never doesn't work anywhere other than the LH and the 14th block). The author is sure that they will not go to heaven due to the curse of their roommates and the neighbours.

The Deski

Typical species seen around the campus and mysteriously vanishes as the sun goes down. They are famous for their bike shows on the college roads. Of course, they miss the ecstatic experiences of hostel life, but then, they do not have to undergo the ordeal of digesting mess food!

The Bodybuilder

These are the guys with muscles of steel. Go to the gym and you will find them trying to lift everything they can and doing exercises on parallel bars with some unknown vengeance. They really are the assets of the college.

The Playboy

'Definition'- Any guy with some music gadget in his ears is a playboy.

Imported materials. They read novels in the classrooms and have a lot of enthu in participating in literary events and quizzes. Win or lose they make a big name of it. They are the brand ambassadors of several brands (like Adidas, Reebok, Levis..) in the college. Their staple diet includes a 100ml Frappie in the Nescafe. They are half philosophers, half critics, half social and half fundoo.

The Sloth

The drowsiest, sleepiest souls on earth. They don't give a damn about the attendance and flout the rules upto the maximum. They are either found in the room sleeping or roaming on bikes or partying in the dhabas, but certainly not in the class.

Now, enough classification of the fairer sex. Let's get to the most awaited section of the article.

Classification of the non-fairer sex:

Miss Nitwit

They form the typical female population in the college. They form the counterparts of Mr. Nitwits. They are very friendly with a smile pasted on their face. It is a joy to see them.

Miss Bookworm

Study, study, study, study, study........ Their world is full of study. I wonder if they ever enjoyed their life. Open your eyes. The world is waiting for you.

Miss LH

Angels of beauty. Extinct species of the college. To the maximum possible extent they don't exist. If, by mistake, there are any, they feel like the Miss World competition doesn't suit their level and of course possess a never ending list of fans adoring their beauty.

Miss Deski

They form the counterparts of the Mr.Deski species. Famous for their regularity in attending classes and submission of assignments(They form into the other categories of classification too, but the author, being a Mr.Deski likes to honour them by such special classification :P)

Miss Dressed to Kill

They form about 2% of the female population of the college. Their attire makes you blind for a while. From where they buy these apparels the author would like to know.

Well, here ends my work of classifying the species. Any suggestions focussing the uncovered sections are always welcome. Enlightenment would be much appreciated J


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