Friday, November 23, 2007

Classification of species@NITW

STATUTORY DECLARATION: The characters mentioned in the article are purely x+iy, (x=0). Any resemblance to anyone living or dead or half-alive is purely coincidental and unintentional. So please don't impose any mental or physical strain on the author for any such coincidence.


The author found several classes of living creatures from all over the country in the college and made an effort to classify them as follows:

  1. Fairer sex
  2. Non-fairer sex

Further classification among the Fairer sex:

Rules Ramanujam

The bookworms of the college saving the library from being filled with Spiders. Wanna see them, then attend the classes regularly. Guys with 100% attendance and 200% innocence. They are seen in the first three rows of the classroom and never stop firing questions at the professor. They are always active and even more active at the time of results. God knows what magic a teacher has!! No one cares the teacher for 3 whole months and when it comes to finalisation of grades everyone starts acting too smart. (The author is proud of not asking marks in any subject till know. You know why? If the teacher asks a question relating to the topic, the author can't answer it :P ) Well, anyway may god bless these 'holy souls'.

The Nitwit

These guys make the bread and butter of the college. They act accordingly; participate in all sports, extra and co-curricular activities, enjoy nights in the dhabas. They represent the college in Tech-fests and make the college feel proud of them. And they never let their grades go down and will obviously get selected in a good company. Our college name is honoured only due to the presence of such guys.

The Fundoo

The author wonders what supernatural powers they have. They are known for bunking the classes and studying in the hostel rooms. They smile when Rules Ramanujam asks a question in the classJ. The class heads to this guy's room to know the syllabus or to clarify any doubt.

The Romeo

If you want to see him just come to the LH as soon as it gets dark. You can see them enjoy their conversation with the non-fairer sex. God only knows what they have so much to talk about.

The Sonic-maniac

These are a species unique to the boys hostel (The author doesn't know if there are any such in the LH too). They have 1400 Watt sound systems in their rooms and they never turnoff their computers and have pendrives and harddisks as means of transport.(Of course, the LAN never doesn't work anywhere other than the LH and the 14th block). The author is sure that they will not go to heaven due to the curse of their roommates and the neighbours.

The Deski

Typical species seen around the campus and mysteriously vanishes as the sun goes down. They are famous for their bike shows on the college roads. Of course, they miss the ecstatic experiences of hostel life, but then, they do not have to undergo the ordeal of digesting mess food!

The Bodybuilder

These are the guys with muscles of steel. Go to the gym and you will find them trying to lift everything they can and doing exercises on parallel bars with some unknown vengeance. They really are the assets of the college.

The Playboy

'Definition'- Any guy with some music gadget in his ears is a playboy.

Imported materials. They read novels in the classrooms and have a lot of enthu in participating in literary events and quizzes. Win or lose they make a big name of it. They are the brand ambassadors of several brands (like Adidas, Reebok, Levis..) in the college. Their staple diet includes a 100ml Frappie in the Nescafe. They are half philosophers, half critics, half social and half fundoo.

The Sloth

The drowsiest, sleepiest souls on earth. They don't give a damn about the attendance and flout the rules upto the maximum. They are either found in the room sleeping or roaming on bikes or partying in the dhabas, but certainly not in the class.

Now, enough classification of the fairer sex. Let's get to the most awaited section of the article.

Classification of the non-fairer sex:

Miss Nitwit

They form the typical female population in the college. They form the counterparts of Mr. Nitwits. They are very friendly with a smile pasted on their face. It is a joy to see them.

Miss Bookworm

Study, study, study, study, study........ Their world is full of study. I wonder if they ever enjoyed their life. Open your eyes. The world is waiting for you.

Miss LH

Angels of beauty. Extinct species of the college. To the maximum possible extent they don't exist. If, by mistake, there are any, they feel like the Miss World competition doesn't suit their level and of course possess a never ending list of fans adoring their beauty.

Miss Deski

They form the counterparts of the Mr.Deski species. Famous for their regularity in attending classes and submission of assignments(They form into the other categories of classification too, but the author, being a Mr.Deski likes to honour them by such special classification :P)

Miss Dressed to Kill

They form about 2% of the female population of the college. Their attire makes you blind for a while. From where they buy these apparels the author would like to know.

Well, here ends my work of classifying the species. Any suggestions focussing the uncovered sections are always welcome. Enlightenment would be much appreciated J


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8 comments:

Tony Sebastian said...

hey cool post!! gr8 to see more n more ppl stepping fwd to blog! :) keep going

A P said...

thank u :)

Asphalt Girl said...

Great classification dude! Really cracked me up... especially the pun on fairer n non-fairer sex :)

shreko said...

dint know it was a pun until now(mm kiddin fcrse) !:P..:D..
great post dude..im findin it hard to put myself in anyo those though..dont wanna try too hard .. :)

Asphalt Girl said...

um... he called the females the non-fairer sex... achyuth... you did it on purpose and it was punintended right? :)

A P said...

of course i meant some..(Malady, what did u understand from that pun?? :D)

Vijay Bhasker said...

lol.....very nice post......how bout a classification of the nitw profs too.....(with explicit content though).....btw i dun think anything regarding sex can ever be a pun (pun intended but not tellin you which one :p)

Shreedhar Shroff said...

nice post. keep up the good work.